took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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