I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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