i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
did i walk over a car last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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