i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
