she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
