she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
