Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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