sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize