You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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