I need help removing her.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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