what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
