I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
