in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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