Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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