Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
