just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
