Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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