no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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