and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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