Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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