whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
