we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
