their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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