An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
