I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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