if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
