I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
