Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
