I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
