I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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