my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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