Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
