i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
