Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
