I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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