She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
