I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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