Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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