Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
