"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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