they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
