dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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