thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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