I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
