She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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