Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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