"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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