i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
