eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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