I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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