D3 body, D1 cock
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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