Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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