you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
