You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
