Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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