This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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