GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
