Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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