i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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