Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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