When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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