i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
