The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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