there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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