My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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