Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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