I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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